she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
