I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
