Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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