I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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