Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
