It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
