I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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