ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
