I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
