white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
