Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
3 2 1 whiskey
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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