Kareoke will never be a sober sport
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
