the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
