just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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