did you get engaged???
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
