he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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