P.S. I can't hear my feet
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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