So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize