Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
