My girlfriend figured out who you are.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize