my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
