she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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