Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
