people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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