I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
