i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
