I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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