I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
