playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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