She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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