I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize