He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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