where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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