she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
not ubering you a puppy
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
