Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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