Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize