so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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