Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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