Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize