you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
