it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
