Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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