summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
