the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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