just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
