i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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