you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
