You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
