when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
