8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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