What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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