What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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