happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
