I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
