Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
