If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
