I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
