It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
a search helicopter?!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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