Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I want to walk on stilts...naked
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
