I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
