i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
