Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
