Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
