Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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