all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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