Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
