my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
