I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Randomize
