nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
