i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Acid is not a monday night drug
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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