i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
