Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
